If you aren't still in a school library...

... are you still a teacher-librarian?

It's a question that's been swirling around my head now for a few weeks. One that at times I've wanted to explore deeply and at others the mere thought sends shock waves of pain. But the ache and the wonder is always there. 

It's there like a toothache. 

As the world, as Canada, as Ontario has made the emergency pivot to distance learning,
to remote learning, to e-learning... 

to all the names that would require and demand a whole other blog post...

As we pivot, I wonder- 

Am I still a librarian? Am I still a teacher?

I know that I am still a curator as I work on the virtual library learning commons and as I gather resources in a Google Classroom to support teachers with their new reality.

But I'm not teaching students.

Not that I know of.

I'm not even interacting with students, beyond my own two daughters, to be honest.

A few students have reached out via email but it's not anywhere near like it was in the physical library. There's no asking what books I think are good. There's no questions about which section in the library the books on weather are found in. There's no requests to take a picture of the students' tinkering and creations at the maker stations.

Am I still a teacher-librarian?

I know I am a resource. I know that I have helped educators with tech questions, with Google questions, with finding resources, with read alouds, and read alongs and the list goes on and on.

So I don't feel unnecessary or unneeded. I know I am helping. And I'm grateful to have a role.

But if I'm being honest, I didn't become an educator to work with adults.

I miss the students. I miss the daily interactions and the buzz of the library.

I miss the mess. I miss reshelving books. I miss the chaos.

The saying "you don't know a good thing until it's gone" never really applied to me
and my role in the library learning commons as a teacher-librarian.

I know I hit the education jackpot. I knew how good I had it.

So now I wonder- 

Am I still a teacher? 

Am I still a teacher-librarian?

What is the definition of those roles and where do I fit in the current educational landscape?

I don't want anyone to think I am feeling sorry for myself, because although I am sad and grieving as many of us are- I have my job, I am getting paid, and my family is safe.

I am doing work everyday that matters and is helping people.

I am continuing to learn new skills - how to create choice boards,
how to curate valuable resources for others, how to create Screencastify videos as tutorials for educators, how to do many, many, many, many new things within the Google suite.

I know that this has clarified for me my love for teaching, my love for working with students as they learn and explore new things, my love for all things school library and my desire to never work in a role that doesn't involve being in and around children on a daily basis.

As we moved forward with our pivot, our emergency plans and our eyes open to many realities of the education system that is inequitable and broken in so many ways, I wonder what new roles will emerge. What new job descriptions will be written? What roles will be seen as essential and necessary? 

Where will the role of teacher-librarian go from here? 

How has it been changed through this experience?

What will the landscape of education look like moving forward?