Well, it’s been a minute since I blogged. 🫣
I decided I wanted to redo my OneWordx12 challenge from a few years ago for 2024. Pick one word each month through the year that represents my thoughts, ideas, goals, plans, experiences, etc.
The last 12+ months have definitely been a transitional period for me, mostly professional but some personal, too. As I moved back into the classroom last year and onto Kindergarten this year I’ve really been thinking about what I want my time away from work to look like, what I want it to be filled with, what I want to occupy my time, energy and space.
As I’ve already attended my last OSLA meeting I no longer have any obligations to any volunteer or outside educational focused endeavours. Our podcast has been on ice for quite awhile as I found I couldn’t really keep it up the way I wanted on my own. I also decided not to attend any conferences this year. I quit Twitter/X and only occasionally post on BlueSkies or IG/Threads. My time for the most part is mine.
That’s a pretty new experience for me.
I don’t know why but I don’t feel any urge or drive to push or cultivate any professional experiences beyond what’s happening in my own classroom with my students, books I’ve chosen to read for myself, or a few asynchronous opportunities I’ve taken advantage of recently.
Is it screen burnout from the pandemic? Maybe. Is it a desire to be the learner and not the facilitator? Likely. The TL role in schools and if you take it farther into the public sphere, like I did, creates space where people are often looking to you for ideas, advice, support and advocacy. Which was awesome. Until it wasn’t.
I spent a lot of the pandemic alone (professionally). Either at home or in a closed library. There was very little scope for collaboration as I had known it previously and people were drowning in their own worries, learning and planning for online learning. I think in many ways it destroyed my desire to be in the library. To be a team of one. And yes, as a TL I was connected with other TLs and many of my colleagues in my school but I was still the only one. And due to the unprecedented situation there were a lot of demands on my time, energy, resources etc and without collaboration in the sense I was used to it felt like very little was coming back to me.
I’ve written before about going back to the classroom and missing kids and that true. But I think it’s important to also recognize that in education educators take a lot from each other and don’t always give back. Teaching is a social sport. A team sport. A group effort. But not all team members pull their weight. That’s true of all teams, groups, clubs. It can become a weight though on those giving, giving, giving.
In the classroom, and especially in a new grade, I don’t have to have all the answers. I don’t have to come up with new, innovative ideas all the time. I don’t have to walk people through my initiatives and convince them it’s a good idea. The last 4 months have been about curating sparks for what I might want to try in my class. Talking every day with my partner. Reflecting in the moment as we see learning happen, as we see growth, as a provocation sits and fails.
I see friends and colleagues that have continued to give and give. Either through podcasting, presenting at conferences and workshops, joining in for new volunteer experiences, social media, etc. I’m happy they do because they are brilliant and talented educators but I also worry if they feel like I did/do. Are they getting enough back from others to keep up the pace? Or are the drowning but worry if they don’t help than no one will?
So to get back on track with the purpose of this blog, my OneWordx12 for January with be Start. Or perhaps re-start is a better choice.
Start to pay attention to those glimmers in my professional life. What sparks joy for me? Starting asking myself “Why am I sharing this photo/thought/etc on social media at this moment?” Start focusing on opportunities where I feel balanced in what I’m sharing versus how I’m growing. Start reflecting again through blogging? Or perhaps re-start my bullet journal habit?
Here’s to the start of 2024. May your time be filled with moments that fulfil your spirit and kindle your love of teaching.
~Beth
