The Great Pause. Or the Push Forward.

So June.

Specifically June 19th.

Is it just me or do each of the months just get longer and longer this year?

2020. For real.

Back in January I decided to do one word for each month of the year based on what was happening, how I was feeling, and the goals I wanted to accomplish. Doug Peterson mentioned back in May that I just might be a genius (Well.... wink wink!). In all seriousness, if there was any year in which to do this, 2020 was definitely the year. 

And here we are in the 6th month of the year. Halfway done. 
But does it really feel like half? 

Or does it feel like an eternity. 

In truth I've had this blog post rolling around my brain for 19th days now. I knew going into June what my one word would be. I knew mostly want I wanted to say and to share.

So why did it take me 19 days to sit down and write it?

Because 2020. 

A look back at my OneWordx12 for this past year before we get to June's word(s) and why. 

January- Renew
February- Motion
March- Appreciate
April- Breathe
May- Grace

It's an interesting progression of words. Discussing it might be a whole other blog post.

Back at the end of May I heard a colleague say that in a meeting they had someone in yet a different meting describe this time as "the great pause". 
That we'd all look back and see the time as when we stood still. 
When we took a pause. 
When we had time to spare.

And while I can see certain aspects of that, I'm not driving my kids around to activities, we aren't rushing home from school to eat dinner and head out again, we aren't making weekend plans just to wish we'd stayed home and relaxed, etc, there's so much more to this that is not a pause.

Of course, I must acknowledge the wide path of privilege I have walked in during this time. 
Both my husband and I are still fully employed and getting our full paycheques. We have fully functioning wifi (for the most part). Our children have devices on which they can learn or entertain themselves. No one in my family is sick, got sick, or was hospitalized. We own A LOT of books. We are not food insecure.

But I don't see this as a pause at all. If anything this has been a huge push forward. 

When I think of the learning gains undertaken by educators and support staff across the world to pivot to emergency distance learning and completely change the way in which we deliver the education system as never before. 
That is not a pause.

Considering the duality of the roles taken on by many parents and caregivers to not only do their own work and see to their own responsibilities but to become homeschool parents to multiple ages and grades of children when in most cases they hadn't taken part in an education setting since their own days in school 20 or more years ago. 
That is not a pause.

The door, the lock, the unspoken knowledge of the wide gap in equality of education, food security, wage inequality, home life, access to health care, and systemic racism was blown wide open during this time. Never again will people be able to say "I didn't know." 

If you don't know after this, it's because you don't want to know. 

This was not a great pause for many people.

This was stress. This was heartache. This was illness and death. This was wondering which bill to pay and which meal to eat. This was continuing to see how society treated you differently because of the colour of your skin. 

Inequality did not pause for COVID 19.
Food insecurities did not pause for COVID 19.
Racism did not pause for COVID 19. 

I hope this is the push forward.
I hope this is the point from which we unlearn. From which re-educate ourselves.

And that is my commitment. My word for June is unlearn. 

To confront my place in the truth of anti-Black racism and 
white supremacist structures here in Canada. 
To acknowledge my role and responsibility to 
understand the settler-colonizer history of this land that is now called Canada. 
To work to learn and take action to support the communities that live with the 
trauma of this daily oppression  and marginalization.

Given the importance and necessity of this work I think 
I will keep this word or choose a variation of the idea. 

This work will take a lifetime.


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